Wrong Planet!
by The Petulant Purple Princess
Summary: Goten, Phantom, and I get lost on our way to Namek and crash land on Pern. Oopsie!
1. Oh my God! You're Robinton!

**Ok, ummm... This is my first Pern story, so, I can't be held responsible if it's crap. Ok, yeah I can. But I was bored. So I wrote this. Reviews would be nice.

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A round spaceship rocketed through space. It looked almost like a Saiyan space pod, except much larger. Inside the ship were Goten, Phantom, and myself. We were on our way to the planet Namek, to see how many people we could piss off before they chased us away with torches and pitchforks. That's just the way we are.

The trip was going fine at first, until we passed through this space cloud thingy. It screwed with our instruments, and rebooted the navigation system. We were pretty much lost. We wandered around the solar system for several hours until Phantom pointed out a planet that looked like it could support life.

"Goten, the third planet. Land on that one," Phantom ordered in that annoying, "I'm better than you so don't argue" voice of his.

Goten muttered to himself, but eventually complied.

"As long as there's air and the locals have electricity, we should be able to fix whatever's wrong with the navigation," I commented from the couch, where I was writing the next chapter to A Tale of Two Twins.

It was a rough landing. Goten obviously had no idea what a landing was supposed to look like, because he made no attempt to slow the ship down in orbit. We hurtled down to the unfamiliar planet; an unpleasant impact was imminent.

"Goten, you idiot!" Phantom screamed. His ears were flat on his head in terror. "Stephanie, you're going to have to fix it!"

I nodded and struggled my way to the pilot's seat. I shoved Goten out of the way, and leveled the ship out. The landing was still rough. The pod bounced then landed back again, creating a deep trench in the foreign soil.

I staggered away from the pod, Goten and Phantom in tow. Phantom leapt from my arms with a disgruntled flick of his tail. "I can walk you know," he hissed.

We had landed in front of an odd stone structure. People were pouring out of it, and cautiously forming a semi-circle around the pod and us. An aging man pushed his way through the crowd.

"Greetings outsiders!" he announced. "I am Robinton, the MasterHarper of Pern!"

I stepped back in shock. I had realized we were lost, but it had never occurred to me that we were that lost!

"Phanny… We're on Pern! I can't believe this! WE'RE ON PERN!" I screamed while jumping up and down excitedly.

Phantom's tail swished around his legs as he calmly sat down. "I realized this Stephanie," he said. "And how many times must I tell you, my name is Phantom, not Phanny."

I shrugged and turned my attentions to Robinton."OmygodRobintonYou'relikemyfavoritecharacterbesides LessaandRamothandwillyousignmynotebook?"

Robinton blinked, then laughed. "Say it slower and I might."

I took a deep breath and repeated myself, making an effort to slow down. Robinton smiled and held out his hand for the notebook. He took it, and stared admiringly at the paper.

"This is good quality paper!" he exclaimed. "I take it you got it on your home planet?"

Just as I nodded, a dragon appeared in the sky. He spiraled lazily down, and landed right beside our pod. His rider dismounted and gave us a curious look. "Master Robinton, who are these people and what is that thing over there?"

"I am The Petulant Purple Princess. Or Stephanie if you don't want to say that much," I told him.

"I call her Triple P," Goten interrupted to add his own input.

"Yeah… That one is Goten and the cat is Phantom. The thing over there is our space pod," I finished.

"Oh!" the dragonrider exclaimed. "Well, my name is V'eta and this is Bardoth."

I stared at him. Was it just me, or did his and his dragon's names sound like Saiyan names? Specifically Vegeta and Bardock? I shrugged it off and logged it away for future reference.

V'eta took Robinton away to talk as soon as he returned my notebook to me. Goten, Phantom, and I gathered around the pod to assess the damage done. Or rather, Phantom assessed damage done, while Goten and I stood around pretending we knew what we were talking about.

Phantom determined what was wrong with the navigation, no thanks to Goten and me, and had me write down all the supplies we'd need to fix the pod.

Robinton and V'eta returned to our little circle (by that time everyone else at HarperHall had gotten bored and left) and announced, "The current Clutch at Benden is ready to hatch. We'd be honored if you would come with us to watch the Hatching."

"Are you guys serious?" Robinton nodded. Once again, I started screaming and jumping up and down. "I'M GONNA GO SEE A BENDEN HATCHING!" I squealed.

Phantom looked up at Bardoth apprehensively. "How are you going to keep me on him?" he questioned.

"I'm sure Stephanie will be happy to hold you while we're _between_," V'eta said with a smile.

Phantom scowled (or as close to a scowl you can get on a cat) and flicked his tail. "I suppose I could assent to that," he said grudgingly.

For the most part, Goten had been keeping quiet. Apparently he was unfamiliar with Pern and the Thread-charring dragons, and naturally, he was confused.

"Um, Triple P?" he said in an undertone, pulling me away from the group.

"What's wrong Goten? Did you wet your pants again? It's OK, everyone does it once in a while! D'you want me to go in and get you an extra pair of pants?"

Goten's face turned a deep shade of red. "NO! Of course not! I just don't know what's going on, that's all!"

"Oh, that makes more sense!" I grinned at him. "Don't you ever read stuff other than my fanfiction?"

Goten shook his head. "No. And don't you think it's rather presumptuous of you to think that I actually read your stories?"

"Don't you think presumptuous is too big a word for you?" I retorted. "The Dragonriders of Pern is a popular series written by Anne McCaffrey," I explained. "They're some of my favorite books."

"So what does it mean that we're invited to a Benden Hatching?"

"Goten," I laughed, "We're gonna go see dragons hatching!"

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Phantom had managed to survive _between_ squashed between Goten and me on Bardoth. We winked out of _between _directly above the crowded Bowl. Bardoth dropped us off, then joined the rest of the dragons on the ledge.

"The Hatching Grounds are this way," V'eta directed, then led us to our seats.

We settled in our seats; Phantom was sitting in my lap, Goten was sitting to my right, and Robinton was to my left. "So, Triple P, what do we do?"

"Just sit back and wait."

The white clad candidates stood in a semi-circle around the eggs. A small group of girls had gathered around a golden egg that had been separated from the rest. Ramoth was crouched protectively beside them. All of the eggs were rocking precariously.

After what seemed like forever, one of the eggs started to crack. Ramoth crooned encouragingly, and more eggs started cracking. One hatchling managed to poke its head out through the top. It was brown. One of the candidates gasped and rushed over to the young dragon, muttering encouragement and scratching his eyeridges.

_Help me!_

I started. I could have sworn I had just heard someone calling for help! I searched the crowd, wondering if anyone heard it too. It was just me. "Good grief, I'm hearing things!" I muttered. "This is beyond DBZ-obsessed!"

I returned my attention to the Hatching. More dragons had emerged from their shells, and were wandering around searching for their chosen rider. The golden egg was rocking harder now, and several small cracks had appeared.

_Please help me, I'm stuck!_

There it was again! I was sure I had not imagined it. It must have been a dragon, calling me while still in its egg!

_OK, I hear you, but I can't find you! Can you give me some kind of hint to where you are?_ I communicated.

One of the eggs rocked so hard it flipped over entirely. _I'm guessing that was you that just flipped._

_Yes, that was me, _the creature inside said.

I deposited Phantom in Goten's lap and rushed down to the Hatching Ground. The egg was now rolling from side to side; I righted it, and stuck my fingers deep in the crack and started pulling and prying to get that shell away. _Do you feel where I'm pulling?_

_Yes._ The dragon's voice had changed its tone from one of fear to relief.

_Push against the spot and I can get you out._ The dragon obediently rammed against the shell and the crack deepened. I dug my heels into the hot sands and gave an almighty heave. Out tumbled a small and beautiful green dragon.

_Thank you! My name's Joivth!_


	2. It's Been Great, But We Gotta Go Now

**WOO HOO! I got a review! I'm so happy... I'm sorry, I've had sugar. It has an adverse effect on me. Anywayz, if there are those who don't know, this is a DBZ/DRoP story. Unfortunately there are people who don't like DBZ all that much. **

**_has a minor seizure_**

**I'm Okay! I'm Okay!**

**_My Chemical Romance's I'm Not OK starts playing_**

**Dang it Goten! Quit playing with my stuff!**

**I'll quit now.

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It had been about two weeks since I had Impressed Joivth. Phantom and Goten had managed to enlist the help of Fandarel to assist in fixing the pod, as Phantom has no thumbs and Goten had no idea what he was doing. Our pod had been transported to Benden Weyr so there would be no trouble getting Joivth on it once it was fixed. After much debating with F'lar and Lessa, I finally managed to get them to let Joivth and me go home to Earth. In the meantime, I was to join the rest of the weyrlings in training. I laughed at the memory of that particular argument. Not even F'lar could outsmart me!

"It's not like they really need anymore fighting dragons now that Thread is over with for good…" I said out loud.

_Exactly. And even if Thread wasn't over, there would still be plenty of fighting dragons anyway, _Joivth agreed. For a two-week-old dragonet, she was really opinionated! Although they do say that a person's dragon is a reflection of their personality…

"Hey! Triple P!" Goten shouted at me. "The pod's almost fixed! Phantom said you can come get Joivth accamodadated!"

"The word is ACCOMODATED, idiot!" I yelled. Joivth rumbled in amusement.

_If he's that stupid, then why do you associate with him? _she asked.

"'Cause his best friend is drop dead sexy," I answered. "When we get to the pod I'll show you."

Goten peeped his head into the weyrling barracks. "Are you guys coming or not?"

"Yeah, we were having a girl talk," I said. "Nothing you would understand."

"Touchy!" Goten exclaimed. "Just hurry up, Phantom's getting impatient."

I led Joivth out to the pod. It was hard to believe that we had stayed on Pern for a little over two weeks. In that time span, I had gotten Robinton's, Jaxom's, Lessa's, F'lar's, Menolly's, and Piemur's autographs. I considered myself lucky.

I took a good look at the pod. It looked considerably better than it did had when we first landed here.

"Good job you guys!" I commented.

Phantom flicked his tail. "If Joivth keeps eating the way she is, Goten is going to have to give up some of his food," he noticed.

I laughed. "I know, I'm anticipating his reaction."

Joivth followed me into the pod; I kept up a running commentary as we went so she wouldn't get confused. We finally made it to my own quarters. "Welcome, Joivth, to what Phantom and Goten call my lair."

Joivth swiveled her head around, taking everything in. _Why do they call it your lair?_

"They call it my lair because I get extremely touchy about unwanted company," I answered. "Anyway, we're going to need to get your own bed in here; the floor isn't really that comfortable. Then when we get to earth, there's a cave just behind the palace that you might find nice."

_Sounds great, _Joivth said. _So what about Goten's best friend?_

"Ah, yes!" I exclaimed. "The wonderfully sexy, lavender-haired, Sayain Prince Trunks!" I flipped a switch, and a secret panel slid open. I led the intrigued dragon down a torch-lit corridor. At the end was a life-size cutout of my beloved prince, surrounded by a circle of scented candles. Several posters dedicated to the warrior lined the walls. "Welcome," I said, "to my very own, secret shrine."

_That's it? _Joivth asked. _He doesn't even have wings!_

"He's a demi-Saiyan, not a dragon!" I exclaimed. "Of course he won't be attractive to you!"

I gave one last look at my favorite Saiyan and led Joivth back down the eerily lit corridor to my quarters. "I would tell you never to speak of this, but no one else can hear you, except Lessa and me, and I totally trust you not to let her know about it," I told her.

_I would never let anyone know of your secret! _Joivth exclaimed indignantly.

"Of course not, precious Joivth!" I reassured. "Now, let's go see if we can't get you a decent bed!"

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We finally managed to haul Joivth's bed from the weyrling barracks into my quarters. It would soon be time for us to leave. There was, of course, one last thing we needed to do.

Goten was not overly pleased upon hearing that he may have to give up some of his precious food. As much as I admire Saiyans' fighting abilities, their eating habits were rather disgusting. It took us a while, but we convinced Mannora(1) that our current rations would not be enough to satisfy both Goten's and Joivth's hunger pangs.

"You already have enough to last three weeks, even with Joivth on board!" she had protested.

"Joivth isn't the only one that eats in dragon proportions," I said grimly. "We really need more food!"

Mannora allowed us to stock up on food, and we would soon be on our way. Refusing to let the memory of Pern fade, I grabbed my digital camera, which was usually used to take pictures of Trunks in the shower(2), and right before we were to take off, I snapped a shot of Benden Weyr, and uploaded it onto my computer.

We were almost done with the countdown when another one of my fellow weyrlings came running up to the pod. Goten quickly aborted the take-off and opened the hatch.

"What's up, J'nerra?" I asked.

"F'lar said you might need this," he panted, then handed me a slip of paper. I looked down at it, and realized it was a copy of the weyrling-training program.

"Thanks J'nerra! I could really use this!"

He smiled, said his good-byes and was on his way. I returned to the pod and Goten started the countdown again.

_Steph, what's Earth like? _Joivth inquired.

_Well, _I responded, _the governments suck, but where we're going, you won't have to worry about that much._ I went on into a very detailed description of the Petulant Purple Palace down in Antarctica where the Z warriors, Phantom, and I resided.

_Oh, _she said in a sleepy tone. _Will it take us long to get there?_

I didn't know, so I passed the question on to Phantom.

"If we make it through the Oort Cloud safely, it should take us about a week to get to Earth," he answered directly to Joivth. To me he said, "Sorry Stephanie, but we don't have enough fuel to piss the Namekians off. It's straight back home for us."

I sighed dejectedly. _I guess there'll be other times…_

_Don't worry! _Joivth reassured. _Once I learn how to go _between _we can piss off as many Namekians as we want!_ She paused for a moment. _Steph, what's a Namekian?_

I roared aloud. "Don't worry Joivth, you'll see a Namekian soon enough! We have two on Earth."

Phantom crouched down low to the floor, keeping a close eye on the monitors. "I suppose we had better get used to outbursts such as that."

I grinned. "You're just jealous because I won't be paying as much attention to you as Joivth!" I taunted playfully.

Phantom flicked his tail and made one last check on the monitors. "Not a chance, Stephanie. If anything happens, I'll be taking a nap on the recliner. Goten, as soon as we make it to the Oort Cloud, let Stephanie take over."

Goten shrugged. "Fine by me," he said. "I'm hungry anyway, so Triple P can go ahead and take over now." He made his way to the kitchen, and soon the sound of his eating could be heard throughout the ship.

"Well, Joivth, it's just you and me now…" I looked down at my wonderful green, and realized that she had fallen asleep on the floor. I smiled and scratched at her eyeridges, and couldn't help but wonder what the rest of the Z gang would think of her.

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**(1) Did I spell that right?**

**(2)MWAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Where do you people think you're going? What, you think this is over? I got another chapter comin' what where you people thinkin'? Might not get up for a while. Stinkin' school.**


	3. Attack of the Evil Hentais

**OK, so maybe I lied. It seems I don't have as much crap going on as I thought I did. Or it could perhaps be because I finished my essay earlier than I thought I would. Surprising, because that was a hard one. I could only write one page, can you believe that! Stinkin' English teacher.**

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We were finally in our very own solar system. Just as Phantom predicted, it took us a week to make it back. How it took us a week to get from Pern to Earth when it took the original settlers seventeen years to get from Earth to Pern, I'll never know. But we were there, and that was all that mattered, as Joivth would say.

Speaking of Joivth, she was growing fast. She was so big now she had to stay in my quarters while I went to bring her food to her. She was very much looking forward to getting a chance to stretch her wings.

Once again, I had taken the controls. After Goten's last performance, there was no way Phantom and I would ever let Goten pilot again. I checked the monitor, and noticed that we were getting closer to Earth. I slowed the pod down and entered an orbit around Earth. I programmed our coordinates into the computer, and let it find our landing site.

The pod reached the correct angle, and we made our way into the atmosphere the _right _way. Back in my quarters, Joivth let out a startled bellow. _Don't worry silly, we're only making our way through Earth's atmosphere!_

_I wish I could see it, _Joivth complained crossly. I laughed and monitored our progress closely. No matter how good of a pilot you are, something could still go wrong if you're not careful. Goten and Phantom, feeling the change in gravity, made their way to the controls room.

"We're already back?" Goten asked while licking his fingers clean. Phantom yawned and settled himself to watch.

I nodded. The snowy white of Antarctica loomed closer; this landing would be much smoother than our previous one. We hit the snow with a thump right in front of my palace. Goku and Vegeta, who were outside sparring, were the first to notice our arrival.

Goku quickly alerted the others. The rest of the Z warriors massed themselves in front of the pod, with the exception of Mirai Trunks.

Goten and Phantom left the pod to greet my sort-of-loyal subjects, while I struggled to help Joivth out of my quarters.

_If we don't break the thing, I'll be coming back for my shrine tonight while everyone is asleep._

Joivth rumbled with amusement. _You are so funny!_

It took a while, but Joivth barely squeezed through the narrow halls to the hatch. I was in an evil mood, so I decided to leave Joivth in the pod for a while and surprise them all with her arrival.

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**_In the shed where I keep Roshi, Oolong, Yamcha, and Old Kai _**

Yamcha threw open the shabby wooden door. Roshi, Oolong, and Old Kai looked up from their card game. "This had better be good, youngster!" Old Kai said crossly.

"The feminist has returned!" Yamcha announced. "She won't be expecting an attack, I say we go for it while she's unloading all her stuff from the pod, then we take over the palace while she's incapacitated!" _Then I'll finally defeat Vegeta and win Bulma back! _he thought triumphantly.

The others were shocked by Yamcha's uncharacteristic display of intelligence. "For once, he has a good idea!" Oolong exclaimed.

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By the time I made it out of the pod, the present Trunks, having collected Goten from the "evil fangirl," was waiting fearfully with Mirai for my emergence. I sighed. I just can't understand why they're both so afraid of me! I only follow them everywhere...

Pan ran up to me and gave me a high five. "So how did pissing the Namekians off go?"

Piccolo and Dende frowned. "You told me you were only going to Namek to get away from stupid people!" Piccolo growled.

I smiled nervously. "Hehehe, that's the thing, we didn't really make it to Namek, so no Namekians were unnecessarily pissed off for my enjoyment."

"Oh no!" Bulma gasped. "The ship malfunctioned?"

"Yes, but it was not of your design," Phantom answered. "We passed through an Oort Cloud, and that was the cause of the error. We crash landed on the planet Pern, where we repaired the problem."

I pouted. I was so looking forward to scaring the pants off them with the appearance of a non-mystical dragon! "Yeah," I confirmed, "and look at what I Impressed while we were there!" I turn to open the hatch to allow Joivth into the rest of the world, when I was attacked from behind.

"YAMCHA!" I screamed.

He grinned and pinned me to the ground beside the ship. "Geez Stephanie, I knew you liked me, but keep it down, we are in public!"

That infuriated me even more. "You bloody hentai, you'd better get off of me, or you'll regret it!"

Roshi calmly walked up from behind the pod. "What are you going to do, Princess? You're not in a very good position to be making threats," he sneered. He then noticed the sound of Joivth's enraged bellow, and the sound of her ramming herself against the hatch, trying to get to me.

I smirked. "I'm not going to do anything. But she might." Right on cue, Joivth broke the hinges off the door and head-butted Yamcha off of me. I picked myself off the ground, and the other two hentais abandoned their hiding places and made their escape before Joivth could go after them as well.

Joivth flared her wings at Roshi threateningly, and her eyes whirled an angry red. Yamcha had lost all consciousness. I glared at Roshi. "I suggest you take him back to your shed. It would be a bad idea to come back here anytime soon."

Roshi made a frightened squeak and hauled Yamcha's body away.

"Say hello to my dragon, Joivth!" I announced to the Z Warriors. "Welcome to Earth Joivth!"

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**Well, that was a wonderful waste of time! Just kidding. I had originally wanted this just to be a one-shot, but it ended up too long, so I just split it up. Don't understand why you peoples would really care, but you know anywayz. Just consider it more useless little bits of information.**


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